Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
