Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize