It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
