Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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