There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
