dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
