i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize