i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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