Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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