I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
