epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
