smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
