I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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