Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
