It's Friday. Sex?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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