Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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