They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
