it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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