i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
