I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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