I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize