My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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