you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
