Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
