She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize