would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
