Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Sober January is a disaster.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
