wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i think i have two assholes
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
