he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
