scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
