Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
