Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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