Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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