Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
