remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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