STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
