I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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