I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
birth control should be required to get into college
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
