i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
no, he came in my armpit
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
