I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
