i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
