I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This is the high leading the old right now
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
