i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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