There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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