bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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