what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
