At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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