went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
you made out with another girl for some wings
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
