Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
