the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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