you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
