My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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