girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
