: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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