They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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