Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
