youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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