The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
