her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
