Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
