i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
