Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
