why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I know her cup size but not her name....
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