How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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