I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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