4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
