Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
