He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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