Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Send help, water and tortillas.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
