I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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