why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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