Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
