It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
