I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
