Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
