HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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