Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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