As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
