marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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