I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
