don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
