you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
